


The Heart Honks Three Times

by hisen



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - The Soulmate Goose of Enforcement, Birthday, During Canon, Humour, Kakashi Week 2020, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26044198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hisen/pseuds/hisen
Summary: It's the third time a goose has shown up on Kakashi's birthday. Since there's no such thing as the Soulmate Goose, it's got to be another prank. Right?
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48
Collections: Kakashi Week 2020





	The Heart Honks Three Times

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kakashi Week 2020: Day 1, Prompt: Soulmates. 
> 
> Since I already wrote a serious Soulmates AU for this pairing, I just went with the goofiest soulmate identifier I've seen out in the wild for this fic. Enjoy!

"Happy birthday, Kakashi-sensei!" That made him look up from his book, surprised to have a gift thrust into his face instead of the usual telling off for being late. 

"Ah. You remembered?" 

"Of course!" Sakura's face shone with pride, present still held out in front of her before Kakashi carefully plucked it out of her hands. 

"You didn't need to...but thank you." He pretended not to notice the kick Sakura aimed at Naruto's ankle, the hiss of 'did you remember, idiot?' under her breath, as Sasuke gave him his present with an expression that said it was forced under extreme duress. It was by far the surliest gift he'd ever received. Kakashi would treasure it forever. 

"Aren't you too old for this kind of stuff?" Sasuke grumbling about it, even though he'd done it, made Kakashi smile. It felt like they were reaching him, even if Sasuke would be loathed to admit it. It reminded him of how surprised Sasuke had been when they'd shown up with his birthday gifts. That brief genuine smile after the shock of realising they hadn't forgotten about it, cared enough about him to remember. 

Really, that was better than celebrating his own birthday. Kakashi already had twenty six of those.

"Absolutely. Thank you." 

"I, uh, have to go get my...uh...kunai. Be right back!" Naruto fled even as Sakura blew up at him. Trust Naruto to forget and ruin their careful planning. 

"I guess we'll have to wait until the idiot gets back."

"Are you going to open them now?" Kakashi shook his head, leaned back on the railing as Sasuke made a loop of their waiting spot and Sakura leaned on the railing next to him.

"I'll wait until I see what Naruto manages to find at home to give me." It would probably be a packet of instant ramen. The thought made Kakashi laugh as Sakura climbed onto the bottom bar of the railing, swung back on it as she looked out over Konoha. 

"That idiot, I told him not to forget." 

"Thanks for organising it, Sakura. Really good teamwork."

"I only had to organise Naruto. Sasuke remembered." That made Kakashi glance at Sasuke, who determinedly didn't look at him. Interesting. Sakura clapped her hands, jumped down from the railings before looking up at him with interest. Something about it concerned him. It was the way her eyes sparkled, like they generally didn't when looking at him. "So, have you had your birthday goose?"

"Birthday...you don't seriously believe in that?" Everyone knew about the birthday goose, but it was unusual to meet someone who seriously believed in it. The look in Sakura's eyes suggested that she just might. 

"I've seen enough people chased by geese to believe it. It didn't just come out of nowhere!" Kakashi sighed heavily.

"Anyone can get a goose and set it on you on your birthday." He would know. Someone had done it on both his eighteenth and twentieth birthday. The most insulting part was they weren't even the specially trained geese for birthdays that only pursues one person. They were just regular geese who were only determined to bite him or anyone else that got too close.

"Did someone do that to you?" Under his mask, Kakashi could feel himself blush. 

"Something like that." He waved his hand, as if to dismiss the thought. For all the respect his kouhais in ANBU claimed to have for him, they sure enjoyed pranking him with geese. "Anyway, I'm too old for that now even if it was real. That's something for you young people to watch out for." 

"The article I read said it can happen on any birthday. Maybe this year will be your year?"

"I hope not." The last thing Kakashi needed was being chased by a goose to his soulmate. Who would that even be, anyway? A thought bubbled up, a memory of a pair of hands on him, patching him up with a warm, slightly exasperated smile. The dark eyes that looked up at him from his injury with a mixture of feelings he'd always taken the trouble to ignore.

He ignored it again.

"Oi, sensei. You're in trouble." Sasuke's voice interrupted their conversation, and Kakashi looked over to him. He expected to see the Third, or someone else who was about to start yelling at them for running so late for their mission. 

It wasn't. There was a goose, staring him dead in the eye. It didn't look ready to take no for an answer. Not that any goose did. Kakashi glanced suspiciously at Sakura who put her hands up.

"I didn't hire it! Maybe it's the real soulmate goose." 

"I know a set-up when I see one." Kakashi sighed again, handed his presents over to Sakura to hold. "Look after these while I get rid of it." He advanced on the goose, expected it to be like the previous times, for the goose to lunge at him. This goose didn't. This time the goose circled him, got behind him so swiftly that the nip at his ankles was the first warning he got. The nip pushed him forward, and the next, and the next. Kakashi swung around to try to catch it, but the goose was already behind him again, pursuing him. 

Bonus point for Sakura: this goose was trained to act like the real thing. She'd put in significantly more effort than his kouhais had. The hissing and honking especially, like it was trying to talk to him instead of just attacking him because, well, why wouldn't it? Geese were assholes. 

He tried to divert the goose, slip into the back streets to lose it, but the goose followed him with a single-minded determination to attack his ankles. The honks drew attention, attention he really didn't want as it chased him through the market. Despite never wanting to be well known, he was. Well known enough for people to stare when they saw him being pursued by a goose. Kakashi pushed over a stack of boxes to throw it off, but the goose flew over them with a flurry of wings and sheer fury. 

"What do you want?" This was much more than the previous pranks. Kakashi had shaken off the other geese by this point, none of them had been this smart, this determined to chase him. They'd been satisfied with a couple of attempts to bite him before he chased them off. The goose honked angrily, flapped its wings at him again as it raced down the narrow back street to reach him. Its neck lunged out to grab him as he dodged, tripped over backwards. 

He caught himself, but bumped into someone behind him. He turned to face them as a hand went to his side to help hold him up.

"Ah. You got a goose again?" 

"Tenzo, help me. It's determined this time."

"It's a goose." The flatness of Tenzo's voice didn't bode well. "Can't you just make it go away?" The goose circled Kakashi menacingly, lunged at him with another hiss. It wasn't brave in the slightest, but it made Kakashi press up closer to Tenzo. The goose narrowed its eyes, stared at both of them threateningly. "Kakashi-senpai, what on earth did you do to this goose?"

"Why are you assuming I did something?" 

"You probably teased it too much." Tenzo sighed, leaned towards the goose. "Look, I realise it's really annoying how he'll tease you to distraction and then pretend he didn't do anything, but it's not worth menacing him like this over it." 

"Why are you talking to it like it's your friend?" The goose didn't accept the token of friendship. Instead it lunged at Tenzo too who grabbed onto Kakashi, pulled him in closer. Tenzo had his arms so tightly around him, not letting him go into his feathery, angry fate. Kakashi's heart was loud in his ears as Tenzo leaned his head over his shoulder to take a closer look at the goose. Despite the lunge, it hadn't followed up with trying to bite them. Instead it tilted its head and honked. 

"What does that mean?" Kakashi had no idea. Unlike Sakura, he'd never bothered to read any articles about the birthday goose. The goose stretched its wings out, gave them a shake before honking again. It felt like a meaningful honk, even if he didn't understand. "You don't think..." 

"There's no such thing as the soulmate goose." Kakashi was certain of that much. It was an industry that'd grown up around old folk tales. Maybe once a man was chased to his future wife by a goose, long ago and it'd started the whole thing off. People did it now because it was funny to set geese on people, because it was easy to make money off it, and because some people just wanted to believe in fate, even if it was fate operating through the form of an angry goose. There was no way a magical goose could chase him to his soulmate. 

The goose hissed at this statement. Of course it did, it was a plant! Despite this obvious fraud, Tenzo hadn't moved his arms away from him, his chin still rested on his shoulder to look at the goose. A soft rumble against his shoulder as Tenzo went 'hmm' to himself. The goose waddled up to them, even closer than before, looked them both dead in the eyes and honked loudly.

Tenzo lifted his head up from his shoulder and tilted his head to meet Kakashi's eyes. Kakashi knew exactly what feelings were in Tenzo's eyes. It was love, and slight exasperation that he was being pursued by a goose like this. It was a very familiar expression after all these years. 

Kakashi still didn't believe in the soulmate goose, but it was hard to deny that Tenzo was someone the goose would chase him to if it was real. An angry goose would be much harder to ignore, would probably win out against his desire for an easy life, without his kouhai confessing the feelings he'd known about for years. 

"Did you do this?"

"No. A duck did chase me on my birthday this year though."

"A duck doesn't count, they're different species." 

"Kakashi-senpai..." Kakashi felt himself waver. He'd always been reluctant to acknowledge Tenzo's feelings, not just from his desire to avoid difficult situations and any sort of responsibility. He didn't want to hurt Tenzo either, knew it was unavoidable that he would hurt him like he'd hurt everyone else he'd ever loved. It hardly mattered if he got hurt, he was used to it. "I was really hoping I'd see you today. Happy birthday. I'm so glad you were born."

Damn it. It was hard to resist someone saying they were glad he was born, especially when he'd spent so long thinking that it might have been a terrible mistake, that his life was some sort of cosmic joke. Kakashi turned his head, pulled his mask down to kiss Tenzo in what was probably a terrible decision but it was too late to take it back. It was the first terrible decision he'd made in a long time that immediately felt right. It was like kissing his soulmate would feel like, like coming home. 

The goose honked in satisfaction. When they pulled apart, it was gone. Kakashi wondered if he'd been had. The main suspect had his arms around him, had benefited from the so-called soulmate goose rather handsomely. Still, if a goose did have to pursue him to someone, Tenzo was a good choice. Beside, if Tenzo had arranged the goose so he could confess to him, it showed an impressive level of planning.

"Don't you have something to tell me?" Tenzo fumbled, flustered by Kakashi's sudden demand. Which was why he did it. That and he did want to hear it, if he was finally going to accept Tenzo's confession. His own heart felt rather loud in his chest, but he was keeping it together better than Tenzo was, flustered and red as he fumbled with his words before he finally got it out.

"I love you. More than anyone." Kakashi smiled, eyes curved up into it. 

"Hah, thanks." 

"Senpai!" The switch from flustered to flustered and annoyed was perfect. It was so predictable, so Tenzo. It made Kakashi lean in and kiss him again. Kakashi still didn't believe in the soulmate goose, but he could believe in Tenzo, and that was better than anything an angry waterfowl could bring him.


End file.
